


Don't Ever Wonder

by lucybun



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, steve is so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybun/pseuds/lucybun
Summary: Steve is so very much in love with Danny, and he's finally going to do something about it.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 20
Kudos: 135





	Don't Ever Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> This is vaguely set sometime in late season three/early season four, but I've played around with the timeline a bit. Beta read by the wonderful Sunnyqueen. All the mistakes are mine.

He knew his partner, okay? Down to the cellular level, down to his angry little mitochondria, so he knew that Danno, his Danno, wasn’t going to be down for anything casual. The man just wasn’t built for that type of arrangement, which worked out really well for Steve because he wasn’t interested in that type of arrangement either, not with Danny. He was so far gone on the man that it should be measured in lightyears, and once he got hold of that ass there wasn’t going to be anything casual about it. He was going to fuck him, kiss him, squeeze him, whisper in his ear, and make him giggle and squirm. He wasn’t saying he wanted them to make love because that wasn't something he'd ever say out loud, but he totally wanted them to make love. He’d never had truly meaningful sex, and he was looking forward to that as much as he was looking forward to the merciless pounding he was going to give that perfect behind once all the emotional stuff was under control. 

And the thing was, the thing _was_ , he knew it was his for the taking, Danny was his for the taking. He wasn’t dumb and he wasn’t blind, and he was more aware of Danno than he’d ever been aware of another person. He’d also spotted the expression his partner sometimes had when he looked at Steve, recognizing the song and dance guys learned to do when they got aroused by another man and they weren’t sure it would be welcome. Hell, Steve had done the same thing more than a few times just from seeing Danny in a t-shirt or without a tie. 

He also knew that it was incredibly unlikely that his partner would make the first move. The detective was too afraid that he’d misread or misinterpreted all the looks and touches between them over the past few years, not to mention Steve had only called things off with Catherine a few months ago, not too long after it was clear Gabby was out of the picture. The commander had sent too many mixed signals to his friend over the years, and if that meant he had to stick his neck out first, so be it. Danny was amazing and completely worth any risk Steve had to take. So, yes, he wanted his partner, he wanted him very, very much. Now all he had to do was go get him. 

He’d thought of about a million ways he could approach the whole thing and confess his feelings in a way that would assure his partner that he really wanted him, no doubts and no take-backs. He could tell Danny to come over on Saturday and surprise him with a candlelit dinner. He could take him out to a really nice restaurant and make it very clear it was a date, the first of many. He could take him to an authentic luau that Danny would probably enjoy (even if he pretended not to) and take his hand as they were leaving. He was genuinely struggling with making a decision, which he hated so, so much. 

It was pointless worrying though because what happened was that Steve pulled into the Burger King parking lot one day so the two of them could yell at each other responsibly out of the flow of traffic. Whipping around in his seat to tell his partner what a stubborn ass he was, Steve lost his train of thought as soon as he got a good look at Danny; the man before him, incandescent with rage and hair shining in the sunlight, was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. So instead of shouting, he leaned over and kissed Danny deep and long and wet then told him that he loved him more than anyone or anything. The detective seemed very happy to hear that, so Steve got to kiss the grin off his face over and over. Chin called a while later with an ID on the vic, so they got Whoppers and milkshakes for everybody and headed back to the palace. He was so excited and relieved and who knew what else, but it was all good. 

He barely remembered finding the killer the next day and shoving him at the waiting HPD officers. He’d tried so hard to keep his mind on the job, but all he’d been able to think about was how he wanted to kiss the corner of Danny’s eye and the underside of his jaw and the little dip under his throat. He’d bet good money that no one had ever worshiped all of those soft places the way they deserved, and he was determined to fix that. And, as it turned out, he fixed it three times just that first night. Steve lay there the next morning, holding Danny as the buttery light of sunrise filled the room, and promised himself that his partner was never going to doubt again that he was loved and cherished and the most important person in Steve’s life.

Not that his work was suddenly done because they’d gotten together though, not when Danny still had so many insecurities and not when he was still so scared of commitment. Steve didn’t have the luxury of relaxing yet, not right at the beginning of _them_ and not when Danny was probably expecting the other shoe to drop at any moment. He figured it was time for his secret weapon: Grace. Steve loved her in a way he hadn’t even known he was capable of – the simple, clean, pure kind of way reserved for children. What made it even better was that she loved Steve back, and the hugs and the laughter, the sand castles and the swimming, all told him that. There was no one else in Hawaii, save her parents, who was closer to Gracie. Before, when the three of them would chill at Steve’s over the weekend, it was the best feeling in the world because he could pretend they were a little family, and it thrilled him just as much as it hurt. 

It could be real now though, and that’s what Danny needed to see. He needed to know they could be a real family and nothing would even have to change much. He wasn’t sure how to show him that though, how to prove that Steve didn’t just want to be with Danny, he wanted to be part of a family with Danny. Eventually, he decided to quit dicking around and just booked them a suite for the weekend at the Aulani Resort. 

He had it all planned out: he and Grace could go do all the fun stuff during the day while Danny slept in, giving him time to eat a nice brunch or maybe get a massage. In the afternoon, they could all relax or nap before heading out each evening for a delicious dinner. Check and check. It really was a foolproof plan, and it totally worked. They had an amazing time, Danny got to see that Steve could handle Grace all on his own and do it well, and, best of all, he got to know Grace even better. She could be as much of a talker as her Danno, and she was so excited the whole time that she talked until she was practically hoarse. It was fantastic! 

By the time they were back at Piikoi trying to get their clothes in the wash and making sure Grace was ready for school the next day, Danny was glowing, and not just from getting too much sun. Happiness was a good look on his partner, and he was going to do his level best to keep him as happy as possible. 

Here’s the thing though, as wonderful as things were, Steve couldn’t keep ignoring the elephant in the room. Danny was waiting for him to take off again, to _disappear_ again, and all the staycations in the world couldn’t fix that. The detective had tried so hard to hide how hurt he’d been when Steve took off after Shelburne. He’d blustered and ranted and joked, he’d even allowed a rough hug when the commander came back; he’d then proceeded to have nothing to do with Steve outside of work for over a month. 

At the time, Steve had been so caught up in dealing with his own shit that he hadn’t had the energy to deal with Danny’s problems too. Looking back, he was amazed that he’d been willing to prioritize anything over Danny and Grace. There his partner had been, scared to death that he was going to lose his daughter or have to start all over again in a strange place, and Steve hadn’t even bothered to help until it was almost too late. Hell, he’d basically told the man that he should go to Vegas. Danny, who’d stood by him through so much shit in so short a time, and Steve had let him think it would be good if he left. At that point, he’d still been muddled about Cath and his mom, and he’d genuinely thought that Danny and Grace would be safer off the island, but he should’ve handled it better, especially after it was clear Danny was staying regardless. He should’ve made it clear that he didn’t really want them to go. 

Still and all, that might’ve felt too much like a lie back then since some part of him had shut Danny out purely for Steve’s own benefit. The sad little teenager still taking up space in his brain wanted nothing more than to please his mother and Joe. Getting serious with Catherine and venturing back into the intelligence game would’ve made them both so proud. He had seen their gears turning, figuring if they gave him time to grieve and play at running his silly little task force, he'd eventually come back into the fold. He’d come way too close to satisfying them instead of himself, to acting like he was fifteen instead of thirty-five, and it had almost cost him the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Even though their friendship made it past all that and even though he was sure Danny had forgiven him for how he’d handled things, he was also sure the detective hadn’t forgotten it. It was clear that Danny was worried that Steve was settling for him or simply marking time until someone better came along. Now that they were so close to getting it right, he had to convince his partner that there was no one better and there never would be. Steve was in it for keeps and he wasn’t going to leave. He never would’ve been able to leave Danno, he eventually admitted to himself, not really. 

But if the detective thought Steve was only going to be interested in the Williams family until he could have a family of his own, how could he even combat that? Because, fuck, thanks to Rachel, Steve knew what that was like. He’d spent plenty of time worried that Danny was going to leave, either with her or because of her. He’d hated to hear the words “New Jersey” come out of the man's mouth almost from the get-go because he'd hated how much his partner wanted to go home. But Danno, when he’d actually had the chance to go home and put his family back together, had stayed with Steve instead, simply because the commander had needed him. He’d stayed, and he’d kept staying, choosing Steve over Jersey and Rachel and Gabby. Steve was the one who kept leaving, and he couldn’t ignore how that must’ve affected the other man.

The longer he dwelled on it, in fact, the more the fear and self-loathing crept back into his psyche. He couldn’t help looking at his mom and dad, thinking about how much damage they’d done to the people they were supposed to love. How was he any different really? How could he be everything that Danny needed? Could he be trusted with his heart? Could he be trusted with Grace’s tender heart? 

He worried until he wasn’t eating or sleeping much, exercising until his muscles shook, and spending twelve hour days at the office even when they didn’t have a case. It went on for weeks before he came home one night and saw Danny waiting for him at the dinner table. 

He stopped in the doorway and nodded his head. “Hey, Danno.” 

“Hey. You take care of whatever it was that couldn't wait until tomorrow?” the detective asked, sounding annoyed and uncertain. 

Steve had a sickening premonition that this was it. This was when Danny was going to tell him they were done. He answered the other man with a mumbled "Yeah" and braced himself for whatever was about to happen. 

Knocking his knuckle against the table top and hunching forward, Danny cleared his throat. “Listen, man, I, uh, I don’t know what exactly is going on, but I guess this,” he gestured back and forth between them, “isn’t working for you. Which I totally get, I mean there’s a lot of other stuff going on, and we’ve never made any promises to each other or whatever – “ 

And to Steve’s eternal shame, he burst into tears. He cried for a lot of reasons, but the chief one was that he’d managed to once again convince Danny he wasn’t wanted because Steve felt guilty for convincing Danny he wasn’t wanted. Jesus. The crying soon turned into gross, ugly sobs, and Danny, who'd rushed over to him at the first tear, was totally freaked out. 

“Steve, hey, buddy, c’mon. Hey, what’s wrong? It’s okay, I’m not gonna make a scene, okay? We can still be friends too, yeah? I’m not gonna leave just because you don’t want to be together anymore.” He was clutching one of Steve’s biceps and rubbing gentle circles on his chest, which was just so Danny that it made him want to cry even harder. He couldn’t though, because his partner needed to know that he was so wrong. He didn’t want him to go, ever. 

Resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get a chance to make some grand gesture to prove himself to Danny, he sat at his dining room table with snot on his face and tried to explain why he’d been such an asshole before. He wasn’t sure what exactly he said through hitching breaths, remembering only stuttered apologies and Danny wiping his face with a cool cloth. Whatever he said seemed to be enough though, seemed to get his love to see how much Steve regretted the way he’d acted and how afraid he was that he’d ruined everything before it really got started. 

Once Danny made him calm down and drink some water, they stumbled up to bed, Steve curling around the smaller man and resting his head on his shoulder. They lay there listening to the waves for a while before Danny murmured into the dark, “I didn’t know this was bothering you so bad.” There was nothing really to say to that, so he just shrugged. 

They stayed there so long in the quiet, Steve was surprised when Danny spoke again. “Listen, man, I gotta… I’m never going to… I’m, ah, I’m not going to change who I am. Your mom and Joe are never going to like me. I’m a smart ass, and I don’t follow orders just because someone tells me to do something. I’m always gonna use my brain, and I’m not gonna apologize for that. And for all that they don’t think much of me, I can promise you that it's mutual. I know she’s your mom and he’s your substitute… whatever, but they’ve treated you like shit. They treat everybody that they don’t deem worthy like they’re useless and stupid, like everyone who doesn’t want to live in a Bond flick is weak. They’re not good people, is what I’m saying. And I’m not saying I am either, but fuck, I’m not going to jerk my kid around until she’s unhappy her whole damn life.” 

“I know, Danno. I know you’d never –” 

“But I forgive you, Steve, I truly do, and I did it a long time ago. What I don’t get is why it’s such a big deal all of a sudden.” He sounded ever so slightly pained. 

“First of all,” Steve answered, “it’s not all of a sudden, and it’s a big deal now because I love you. I love you, and we’re together, and I know you’re just waiting for me to leave you, but I’m not going to. I’ve been making myself sick over this because I’m scared to death that there’ll always be some part of you, a part that I helped put there, that won’t let you be happy if we’re together. I don’t know if I can fix it, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t. I just… I don’t know." 

“Steven, I’ve been too afraid to even think about us having a future. It never – I thought… well, whatever I thought, I guess I was wrong.” He shook his head, eyes wide in the darkness, stunned by what Steve was telling him. 

Placing his hand on Danny's stomach, Steve started playing with the buttons on the detective's shirt. “But see, if I’d never pulled all the disappearing acts and if I’d never given Cath a job at Five-0, it would be clear by now that I want a future with you. The only reason you never saw it is because I scared you away from even considering it, but I’m not playing around here, I’m not going to get bored, and I’m not waiting for something better.” 

He felt the chest underneath his head stop moving, noting how every muscle in his partner’s body had gone taut. He waited a few seconds until it suddenly felt like a bubble popped, relieving the tension in the room and in the man underneath him. Finally, Danny drew in a trembling breath and whispered, “Okay.” 

Steve lay there, waiting for more, but it never came. “Okay what?” 

“Okay,” he said again, sounding more like himself. “Let’s, uhm, let’s do this.”

It was Steve’s turn to go very still before lifting up on one arm to look his friend in the eye. “‘This’?” 

“Ya know, the whole thing. The whole ‘let’s be together years from now’ thing.”

The top of Steve's head was tingling and his lips felt numb. “Danny?” 

“Look," the man sighed, "you’re right. You acted like a tool, and you hurt my feelings, even aside from having to watch you and Cath do your little courtship dance in front of me every day. You’ve also done a lot of really good things too. You helped me keep my daughter, you stood by me with Mattie, you’ve literally saved my life more than a few times. We’re going to have to deal with the bad stuff, okay, we've _both_ made some horrible decisions, but we can't ignore all the good stuff either though, babe, and there's been way more good than bad. If you want this, really want this, I want it too." 

And Steve? Steve? He finally learned what pure joy felt like. “Danny. Danny, are you – Danny, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” 

The other man sighed again and huffed out a little laugh. “If what you think I’m saying is that I want to do the whole 'happily ever after with a white picket fence' thing, then, yeah, I’m saying what you think I’m saying.” 

Well. Holy shit. 

**H50**

The next few weeks were amazing. Whatever settled in Danny that night had changed him for the better. It really was like something had been throttling his partner and suddenly he was able to open up and fucking _go_. All the things that Steve loved about them – the jokes, the hugs, the kisses, the banter, the _sex_ – it was all _more_ and _better_ and _finally_. Steve was in fucking heaven, and he thought his partner was too. The man was even more gorgeous now, blooming with happiness and satisfied in his skin. Sometimes Steve could hardly believe that he was a big reason for the smile that was usually on Danny’s face. It was heady and scary to have that much power over his friend, but he was determined that he’d never be careless with it again. 

When he decided to tell his family, he chose the easy option first. Mary was completely unsurprised and completely happy for them. (“I’ve known since surf buddies, jerk.”) He didn’t expect such an easy time with Doris or Joe, but he wasn’t going to let Danny think for one minute that he was ashamed of what they had. Maybe he’d gotten wrapped up in his own head at one point, but that was done. It was him and Danny, all the way, and he needed to tell them that. 

The conversation with his mom went about the way he'd figured.

“You’re in love with your partner.” It wasn’t a question, but there was very much an air of disbelief about it. 

“Yeah, Doris. Is that a problem?" he snapped, rolling his shoulders in irritation. 

“Watch your tone,” she fired back, picking imaginary lint off her shirt. “I figured you were sleeping with him, I just didn't know it was serious," she sniffed. 

“What, you think I'm just scratching an itch? Fucking around until I’m ready to settle down with a suitable woman?” 

He could tell from the look on her face that’s exactly what she thought. She was a poor judge of character if she wasn’t able to see how much Danny was worth and how Steve needed him so much. How could strangers see how devoted they were to each other, but his own mother couldn't? 

What never really occurred to him or to Danny, for very different reasons, was that Doris didn’t have a particularly low opinion of the detective at all. She’d always recognized that he would be a very formidable adversary in any battle over Steve’s loyalties. Guiding her son toward Cath, encouraging him to remember he had his own family and didn’t need Danny’s, pushing him to run small ops with her instead of Five-0, all of that had been her way of avoiding direct conflict with the little man. If she’d thrown down her gauntlet and met him head-on, there’s no way Steve would’ve ever sided with her, so she’d been a little more… circuitous. 

Obviously, none of that had worked, and since she didn't really want to expend any more time on it, she threw in the towel. If Steve couldn’t be useful like she needed him to be, she’d have to find someone else, and if she didn’t need him anymore, she really didn’t need to stick around the island. She loved her kids as much as she could, and she hoped that her “resurrection” helped them come to terms with some of the trauma she and John had inflicted, but regardless, she was done. They’d managed a long time without her, and her work wasn’t compatible with staying in their lives anymore. Exactly two weeks from the day she spoke with Steve, she was gone. Ironically, her only goodbye was in the form of a letter left for him and Mary. No one was surprised. 

Joe though, Joe was a horse of a different color. First, he probably loved Steve much more than Doris ever did, probably more than his own father too. He’d watched Steve grow and mature into a man who was strong, tough, and clever. He’d molded him into the kind of sailor that other men relied on when shit hit the fan. When Steve, eyes hard and closed off the same way they’d been when he was fifteen and standing by his mother’s grave, had told him about listening to John die, Joe had been afraid that Steve would sink too far under the grief, especially since John’s murder had come so hard on the heels of Freddie’s.

Thankfully, Steve soon had other things to focus on, things to help counter the guilt and sadness, namely Danny Williams and Five-0. One day, Steve, sounding oddly uncomfortable with the enthusiasm in his own voice, started telling Joe all about his new team, which quickly turned to bitching about his new partner, even though Joe was sure that Steve shared the blame for any friction between the two. A few months into the commander’s return home, Joe could tell that Steve, for all his posturing and stoicism, was fascinated and drawn to the detective. 

When Joe finally got to meet Danny, he didn’t initially understand what Steve saw in him – he was mouthy, obnoxious, and loud. By the time they had Steve on a plane home from North Korea, he’d also recognized that Danny was loyal, determined, and smart. Above and beyond all that, he realized that Danny might’ve made a horrible sailor, but he was a hell of a good cop, a good dad, and a good man. So when a keyed up Steve, chin up in challenge, knocked on his door one afternoon and announced that he was going to be with Danny no matter what the fuck anyone else thought about it, Joe just smiled and said, “Good for you, son.” 

Steve, clearly rattled, stood there looking like a confused puppy, face crumpling as Joe pulled him inside and planted him on the sofa. He eventually took a huge, shaky breath, looking lost as the weight of a lifetime’s expectations fell off his shoulders. The older man should’ve made it clear months ago, way back when Steve started talking about Danny like he was the only thing that mattered, that he wouldn’t have a problem with any relationship that developed. There was no fixing that now, but he did sit down with Steve and let him talk about how wonderful Danny was and how amazing Grace was too and how they were a real family. 

If Joe had harbored any doubts as to the wisdom of Steve hitching his wagon to Danny Williams, they were gone by the time Steve left. He was in good hands with his partner because there’s no way Danny would ever hurt Steve the way everyone else had. The detective was better than all of them, and it took nothing for him to tell Steve that. He wanted a good life for his almost-son, and it was looking like he might just get one. How could Joe ever disapprove of that? 

Steve didn’t even remember making it back home that day, managing the drive on autopilot. When he wandered in with a weird but pleased look on his face, Danny knew things with Joe hadn’t gone too badly, and by the time they’d eaten dinner and were drinking beers down by the water, he’d heard the whole tale. He couldn’t deny being shocked, especially since he’d been so sure Joe had no respect for him. Well, he obviously needed to reevaluate his opinion of the man, even if that was a tacit admission that he’d been wrong. If it meant supporting Steve and keeping him happy, the detective could put aside any differences he and White might have. The man was going to be his de facto father-in-law at some point, so he figured it was only natural if their relationship wasn’t sweetness and light. Husbands and in-laws were like cats and dogs, right? Law of the jungle, baby, even if it was technically the rainforest. 

They stayed slouched in their chairs for a long while, both of them lost in thought but glad to be doing it together. Finally Steve said, “I think that’s almost everything.”

Danny blinked slowly, assuming he’d missed something while he’d been zoned out. “What?” 

“I had plans for how to make this happen, for how to prove to you that I was serious about loving you and wanting to be with you, you know, forever or whatever.” 

Danny stared back warily. “And what exactly did these plans entail?” 

“Just the regular stuff. I mean, I had to tell you that I love you, I had to show you how much I love Grace and she loves me. I needed you to know I won’t leave again, and I needed to tell my family about us. It was too important not to make plans, Danny. I couldn’t just sit around and hope things would work out.” He couldn't change how his brain functioned. 

“Hey, hey, I get it, babe. I understand,” he soothed. “And it’s probably the beer talking, but I’m glad you met all your objectives, soldier.” 

He could see Danny’s shit-eating grin from the corner of his eye. He did the thing anyway. “Sailor, Danno. Sailor!” 

“You’re a dumbass, McGarrett.” The little giggle took all the sting out of it.

“And you’re an asshole, Williams. It’s a match made in heaven.” 

They laughed and joked some more, finishing their beers before heading back up to the house. Steve tossed the bottles into the recycling and started up the steps, Danny following until they were in their room. He dropped onto the mattress and spread his long limbs out before the smaller man swatted his thigh and started getting ready for bed. Steve watched him putter around, eventually disappearing into the bathroom for a shower. A little while later, a clean and shiny Danno strutted back into their room with a towel wrapped low across his hips. Steve sat up, waiting for the other man to get close before grabbing him around the waist and pulling him back on the bed. Danny was laughing and swearing and ranting all at the same time until Steve rolled on top of him and kissed him senseless. 

When the commander started sucking little kisses across his partner's chest, Danny finally remembered something. “Almost everything.” 

Steve stopped what he was doing, lifting his head but not really paying attention. "What?" 

“You said you’d done almost everything. So what is it, buddy? What’s the last thing on the list?" 

Steve softly kissed Danny’s temple and squeezed his thigh. “I’m not sure I can tell you that, Danno. It might be the kind of thing I have to show you.” 

“Yeah?” Danny breathed.

“Yeah, show you. You know, show you a good time, show you how it’s done, show this ass who it belongs to,” he whispered, both hands working around to that divine behind. 

Danny just grinned and cupped Steve’s face in his hands, staring up at him with clear blue eyes. “Yeah, babe, let’s get this show on the road.”

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, Steve is wearing rose colored glasses here. Steve isn't as bad as he thinks he is and Danny isn't as amazing as Steve thinks he is, but people in love aren't known for being reasonable. Comments and kudos are really appreciated, and thanks so much for reading!


End file.
